I'm writing a post, in a thread, on a forum, on the world wide web, to tell you about how cool metaphor is. "But what is metaphor?" you might be asking. Simple!
He typed the bad thread like his hands were a pair of hams. NO, THAT'S TERRIBLE!
He ham-fistedly typed the bad thread. NOW WE'RE TALKING!
Look at that shit. Hands made out of ham? How's he typing with those? What a mental image the words have evoked! And so compact compared to the simile! *slaps roof of metaphor* this bad boy can fit so much fucking imagery in it!
We use metaphor all the time without even realizing it. Look at the first sentence in this post. Do you know what those are? That's right, they're fucking metaphors. This is not a literal "post" or "thread" in a "forum" or on a "messageboard" on a "web," in any literal sense except the one where people forgot why we call them posts and threads and etc. so they fossilized into normal words. That's language happening in real time in front of you. It's called a post to evoke the idea of physically posting a piece of paper to a wall, as in what a "post no bills" sign is referring to. It's called a thread because it is a way of creating a thread of conversation (a different metaphor that was used as design inspiration) out of the chaos that would otherwise just be electronic messages being shown at random without any way to connect one to another. It's not a literal forum, that would be a building or assembly of some kind where people hold debates. It's software designed to facilitate discussions in a way that evokes a physical forum or messageboard. The name "world wide web" is a metaphor that evokes the idea of a spider's web where each of the strands is a network connection between remote computers. And being cool doesn't mean you're literally low in temperature, it probably comes from keeping your cool under pressure or something, I don't know. Only dorks try to define what cool means.
Which brings me to the next best thing about metaphor: its use in insults! Do you know what a dork is? That's right, an old-timey slang word for penis. Calling someone a dork is metaphor! Calling someone a motherfucker is also a metaphor. A metaphor for someone who has sex with other people's mothers, if meant in a positive way, or their own mother, if meant in a negative way! Like the word fuck in general, it is strangely versatile.
Metaphors are also probably a universal concept to humans. It's just a language expression of how our brains build ideas: linking an idea to another existing idea to help define or refine it. The only metaphor from a non-english language I can think of off the top of my head is a Japanese insult that translates literally to "goldfish poop," applied to a person who follows others around in an overly dependent manner, comparing them to the string of feces trailing from the anus of a kind of goldfish that is a cultural touchstone over there, I guess.
IN CONCLUSION, METAPHOR IS A LAND OF CONTRASTS
He typed the bad thread like his hands were a pair of hams. NO, THAT'S TERRIBLE!
He ham-fistedly typed the bad thread. NOW WE'RE TALKING!
Look at that shit. Hands made out of ham? How's he typing with those? What a mental image the words have evoked! And so compact compared to the simile! *slaps roof of metaphor* this bad boy can fit so much fucking imagery in it!
We use metaphor all the time without even realizing it. Look at the first sentence in this post. Do you know what those are? That's right, they're fucking metaphors. This is not a literal "post" or "thread" in a "forum" or on a "messageboard" on a "web," in any literal sense except the one where people forgot why we call them posts and threads and etc. so they fossilized into normal words. That's language happening in real time in front of you. It's called a post to evoke the idea of physically posting a piece of paper to a wall, as in what a "post no bills" sign is referring to. It's called a thread because it is a way of creating a thread of conversation (a different metaphor that was used as design inspiration) out of the chaos that would otherwise just be electronic messages being shown at random without any way to connect one to another. It's not a literal forum, that would be a building or assembly of some kind where people hold debates. It's software designed to facilitate discussions in a way that evokes a physical forum or messageboard. The name "world wide web" is a metaphor that evokes the idea of a spider's web where each of the strands is a network connection between remote computers. And being cool doesn't mean you're literally low in temperature, it probably comes from keeping your cool under pressure or something, I don't know. Only dorks try to define what cool means.
Which brings me to the next best thing about metaphor: its use in insults! Do you know what a dork is? That's right, an old-timey slang word for penis. Calling someone a dork is metaphor! Calling someone a motherfucker is also a metaphor. A metaphor for someone who has sex with other people's mothers, if meant in a positive way, or their own mother, if meant in a negative way! Like the word fuck in general, it is strangely versatile.
Metaphors are also probably a universal concept to humans. It's just a language expression of how our brains build ideas: linking an idea to another existing idea to help define or refine it. The only metaphor from a non-english language I can think of off the top of my head is a Japanese insult that translates literally to "goldfish poop," applied to a person who follows others around in an overly dependent manner, comparing them to the string of feces trailing from the anus of a kind of goldfish that is a cultural touchstone over there, I guess.
IN CONCLUSION, METAPHOR IS A LAND OF CONTRASTS